Remember the number one rule....anonymous......
contact me if you wish to contact someone else.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
LET'S SEE IF THIS WORKS! PLEASE EMAIL ME WITH ANY IDEAS OR RESERVATIONS.
42 comments:
Anonymous
said...
I am embarrassed that I am always sick so I just don't say anything. Everything hurts and I'm exhausted. I wish I had new clothes and a happier body. I feel that I am carrying the burdens of many on my shoulders right now and forgetting to think of my own needs. When people ask me how I am, I lie, smile and say I'm fine.
Wow, 5 comments so far and while I don't have kids, I agree with all the others and do worry as well that one day I may drive my kids crazy! This is a perfect example of how a like we really are underneath and how we are all like in not wanting to admit it. This could be very therapeutic indeed!
everyone drives me crazy...yet I love them....life is beautiful...but it is hard...and it doesn't stop.....I wish for a day in bed, with ice cream and romantic comedies and no phone, no people....maybe some xanex...but there's no time!
I worry about the exact same thing! That if I have kids, I'll drive them crazy, or they'll drive me crazy or that I will be overwhelmed and won't have that instant, fall in love moment....
check out this site...similar concept, but for the masses. open letters to "god" (whomever you believe it to be, whatever your personal definition is).
http://www.dear-god.net/
i like the inner-circle concept of your site...for women only.
Such a wonderful idea and I love the front page image. Love it.
I have lots to write and finally a place to do so. My own blog is read by family, colleagues, friends and I edit what I write to be "appropriate". Well, that's getting tossed out the window and left on the roadside. Not to be emotional litter in the world but to be blown into a million particles of dust so that I have the freedom to express myself and my feelings.
For the woman who has a hard time turning her TV off, I sometimes fall into that trap as well. I find it very helpful to play the radio on all of the speakers in my house, this also helps if I'm just alone and in a mood. I'm not in LA but my favorite radio station is. I listen to KCRW (it's on iTunes radio under "public") and especially Ann Litt's program, I think she has great taste in "around the house" music. Plus, it's an NPR station and now we don't have to hear Bush's voice anymore!!!!!
My mother drives me crazy too, and I'll bet I drive her crazy as well. It is our most intimate relationship, mother and child. I feel so much guilt about it because there are things that she exposed us too and taught us that are priceless, she shaped us and she's really cool and funny but at the same time, there are things I can't forgive her for and can't talk to her about. Someone said to me recently that she had the same problem with her mother and that they finally had a talk, the mother finally acknowledged that she had left the weight of responsibility on her daughter who took care of the family from a young age and that she knew it was a hard way hard way too grow up. The daughter finally admitted to the mother that that's all she wanted, acknowledgement and a thank you, and that she knew that her mother was overwhelmed and understood as an adult how hard single motherhood must have been. Now things are fine between them and they are great friends. I'm curious, so many women have mentioned that their mothers drive them crazy, are there women here who's mothers drove them crazy and then passed on? Would you have done anything different to heal that relationship?
So nice to have a way to talk about my fears of the future. I have a great life and a great boyfriend but sometimes I feel like I want to run away and reinvent myself. Its scary to think of making it on my own but I feel trapped and confused. I just want some clarity to know what my destiny is.
Sometimes I feel invisible...but not in a superhero way, no perks of walking through walls and seeing what people really do or say in private...just not here at all
I am a single mom and I feel exhausted, lonley and overwhelmed everyday. I fight with my babys daddy. He makes my life even harder! I want someone to hang out with. someone I can call and talk to. someone to vent to. My problem is I dont want to burden anyone with my sob story.
I am constantly on the verge of tears...I lost my sister 4 years ago and it still feels like yesterday. I always have a smile on my face and put up a brave front, I don't want people feeling sorry for me...
I'm in a long distance relationship and I just asked someone out. I'm not sure if it's cool or not. I'm not sure it's that easy. We left it open.It's a situation where both of us understand, but neither of us want to be made aware of what the other does. I know she's gone out on at least one date. I don't want to know the details, but it doesn't bother me that much.
I don't know if this is going to sit well with me, even though I obviously want to do it.
I just want to say (semi)publicly that I love my girlfriend very, very much. And even though it's technically OK, I'm conflicted.
I used to be able to have casual encounters without a second thought. I can't ignore how my actions affect other people anymore. I guess I'm growing up.
To the last poster... My husband had to talk me into monogamy, I was always commitment phobic, with men and women. Now I know what it really is, it's not the monogamy, it's that the monogamy is part of the commitment and now that I've grown up a bit I understand why that's so important. It's a really good feeling and I think it came with marraige which is the biggest reaon why anyone should have the right to marry, it's a show of commitment.
For the person with the baby, I know who you are and I'm going to come and give you a break. If you want to mention your area, maybe others can help and you could offer your time and skills in exchange. (obviously this is Jessica talking, I don't know who most of these posts are from)
For the woman who feels invisible...stay invisible but go out. Put a hat on, put sunglasses on, put headphones in so that you are still a bit invisible and go to the nearest coffee shop, read the paper, people watch....
I am spending most of my forties in cancer treatment, I don't want to pass my prime in the process. There's so much shock to my body, menopause, chemical induced weight gain, weird hair and pain that fatigue that help me talk myself out of exercising, it's very difficult to keep up with my housework and I miss being able to travel. I don't want to come out of this finding that I've lost my sexiness and essence. I don't fit into any of my clothes, can't afford a haircut and spend most of my energy keeping my head above the water financially. In the mean time I watch my old exciting life passing me by. I don't want to come out the other end an old creaky woman before my time. I could use a work party! Bolinas, CA
A cut and paste conversation: "my dearest jessica... hi, I love it and it's already done me some great personal good just to read...here is my question; are we all anonymous to each other but not to you? (you said something about being able to connect people) i want to forward this but i'm just a tiny bit concerned that it is not fully anonymous. let me know..."
ahh....a good question! Being that it is an experiment I hadn't thought about how I would know who's who in order to put people together, then I kinda made a faux pas (that's french!) yesterday saying that I knew who someone was. I think the way people can get in touch with each other is by both of the people agreeing to email me, being that my contact info is on there. I honestly have no idea who 90% of the posts are from....BTW, can I ANONYMOUSLY cut and paste this little discussion on to the page?
Ha! Jessica, what a great idea (echoing many). I already see that I am one of many on a lot of complaints. Just want to offer a general feeling of camaraderie women!
i have queer anxiety around my career. it makes me feel hypocritcal, cowardly, and lame. my big concern is for the colleagues who are not comfortable with out gay lifestyle. Many of them are from an older generation than I, and I do not wish to be disrespectful of them. Having said that, I am not by any means in the closet, at home or at work. I just find myself sensoring myself sometimes. Where do you draw a line between respect for yourself and respect for others?
To the person who recommended more music to help come off the addiction to TV, THANK YOU!! It has really helped, and not only that I have been getting in touch with some of my favorite music and new music like it thanks to Pandora.com, I highly recommend it! You can listen for free and after typing in an artists name or song you like it makes a radio station for you based on your selection and then sit back and enjoy...I am learning about so many new people I hadn't known to check into, I love it! Although now I may have a new addiction...but this one seems a bit healthier. (No, I am not affiliated with the website, just a fan and want to pass on the goods. hope you enjoy!)
I want a place to write as if on a blog. Not a comment that has to be scrolled down to see. Is there a way to do that? How do you have so many individuals have access to something like that? Is it possible?
is this the way it's going to be? Just writing comment after comment? If so, I'll get used to it. If not, how else can we do this?
I'm having an abortion in just under two weeks. My boyfriend left me a few days after I told him. I'm worried I might be doing it as psychological war-fare.
girl is freaked. she wants to bolt. it's so much easier than waiting around to be hurt by Boy. Girl knows that he is sweet, so sweet, honest, maybe.Boy seems great to Girl and she feels so nauseous when she thinks about him. They like eachother a lot. They are very compatible. There are the basic complications. Girl has kids, Boy and Girl live and work in different communities. They try to get together when they can. Boy and Girl are both scared and anxious about being hurt. Girl is very close to bolting. She wants to smoke a cigarette, run until her legs give out and she gives into a deep, unemotional physical exhaustion, break her cell phone in half and throw it in the fire, scream until she loses her voice, erase any feelings she has for Boy. Girl is a bit broken and She doesn't know how to fix that bit of her heart, but she's losing blood (control) very quickly. She decides to turn off her cell phone instead of checking it every 5 minutes to see if Boy will text her back. Although she's beginning to think that she may never hear from Boy again and if Girl never hears from Boy again, she will be okay after one week of irritation, anger, hurt, sadness and grief over a loss of what could have been. Another practical part of Girl knows that Boy just fell asleep watching Tropic Thunder. Boy worked super hard today, smoked some weed and went to sleep. Girl wonders if she will ever be able to trust Boy. She can't fathom it. Girl feels sad that she has to work out all of her unexpected and fucked up emotions. Girl worries that she will drive Boy away and into the arms of some other girl who has far less baggage and complications and sadness and mistrust. Some Girl who doesn't have children, the finacial burdens of supporting a family and the unavailable-most-of-the-time schedule. Girl turns her cell phone back on. No call. No text. Ugh!!!!
Girl is pensive and becoming clearer and clearer. Girl is trying to gain perspective that will give her all the answers. Girl hasn't spoken to Boy for a couple of days. Girl hopes she didn't scare him away, but she's pretty sure it's a good possibility. Boy may be just as pensive trying to be clear. Nobody ever told Boy and Girl haw brave you have to be to love, how paonful rejection is, how impossible it seems to pick yourself up out of the mud puddle and clean yourself up, to love again, just impossible. Girl feels rejected. She waits for Boy. Girl waITS and wAITS and WAITS! Boy finally calls, "so sorry, " Girl rants and raves and smokes and runs and feeds herself from her anger (FEAR). Girl is ready for war. Girl could climb a mountain and then another. Run a hundred miles. Her fuel is her anger, fury (FEAR). Boy is so sorry. Boy really is. Girl can't hear it because pain has overcome any reasoning or rational thought. Girl wants to cry and tell Boy she never wants to see him again. Girl wants to control her feelings and be concise and articulate in communicating with Boy. Boy tries to say something. There's no space to speak. Nothing Boy can say will be right. Girl wants to cry, (Will She? No Way). Boy is choosing his words so carefully. Girl wishes she could do the same, but Girl has already vomited up the fear, pain, insecurity, sadness, grief. Girl tries to clean it up, but Boy has already seen it, smelt it, tasted it. Girl is so embarassed. Boy still likes her. Boy understands. Boy has been through it before. Boy is brave. Girl is brave. Boy and Girl are going to take it slow.
i am ashamed that i am not as strong as i pretend to be. I wish i had the guts to say "shut the fuck up" when i wanted to as opposed to a smile in agreement. Im gonna work on that.
Do I make things more complicated than they have to be or do I make things work in the way that I want them to? I am a producer/coordinator and I work under a lot of pressure, I sometimes make over two hundred calls in a 20 hour day, do people think I am crazy or do they understand that I am pulling of miracles and getting things done? I love it and I believe that I am good at it. Is it worth it for the anxiety and if not, what else what would I do?
42 comments:
I am embarrassed that I am always sick so I just don't say anything. Everything hurts and I'm exhausted. I wish I had new clothes and a happier body. I feel that I am carrying the burdens of many on my shoulders right now and forgetting to think of my own needs. When people ask me how I am, I lie, smile and say I'm fine.
I have a hard time turning the TV off
This is a great idea Jessica! Hope it works! I wish I had more time to do my artwork!!
My mother drives me crazy.
I don't want to drive my kids crazy, am I?
Wow, 5 comments so far and while I don't have kids, I agree with all the others and do worry as well that one day I may drive my kids crazy! This is a perfect example of how a like we really are underneath and how we are all like in not wanting to admit it. This could be very therapeutic indeed!
everyone drives me crazy...yet I love them....life is beautiful...but it is hard...and it doesn't stop.....I wish for a day in bed, with ice cream and romantic comedies and no phone, no people....maybe some xanex...but there's no time!
I worry about the exact same thing! That if I have kids, I'll drive them crazy, or they'll drive me crazy or that I will be overwhelmed and won't have that instant, fall in love moment....
check out this site...similar concept, but for the masses. open letters to "god" (whomever you believe it to be, whatever your personal definition is).
http://www.dear-god.net/
i like the inner-circle concept of your site...for women only.
Great idea Jessica.
I hate to complain, but not really.
I must enjoy it because my judging mind is always busy analyzing and critiquing.
Such a wonderful idea and I love the front page image. Love it.
I have lots to write and finally a place to do so. My own blog is read by family, colleagues, friends and I edit what I write to be "appropriate". Well, that's getting tossed out the window and left on the roadside. Not to be emotional litter in the world but to be blown into a million particles of dust so that I have the freedom to express myself and my feelings.
Jessica, Thank You!
Thank you so much Jessica.
I can't say no and then I get resentful.
I hold grudges and don't want to.
I manage time poorly and feel guilty about it.
My mother also drives me crazy.
ditto
For the woman who has a hard time turning her TV off, I sometimes fall into that trap as well. I find it very helpful to play the radio on all of the speakers in my house, this also helps if I'm just alone and in a mood. I'm not in LA but my favorite radio station is. I listen to KCRW (it's on iTunes radio under "public") and especially Ann Litt's program, I think she has great taste in "around the house" music. Plus, it's an NPR station and now we don't have to hear Bush's voice anymore!!!!!
My mother drives me crazy too, and I'll bet I drive her crazy as well. It is our most intimate relationship, mother and child. I feel so much guilt about it because there are things that she exposed us too and taught us that are priceless, she shaped us and she's really cool and funny but at the same time, there are things I can't forgive her for and can't talk to her about.
Someone said to me recently that she had the same problem with her mother and that they finally had a talk, the mother finally acknowledged that she had left the weight of responsibility on her daughter who took care of the family from a young age and that she knew it was a hard way hard way too grow up. The daughter finally admitted to the mother that that's all she wanted, acknowledgement and a thank you, and that she knew that her mother was overwhelmed and understood as an adult how hard single motherhood must have been. Now things are fine between them and they are great friends.
I'm curious, so many women have mentioned that their mothers drive them crazy, are there women here who's mothers drove them crazy and then passed on? Would you have done anything different to heal that relationship?
Thanks! I just put KCRW on, it was too quiet in here!
So nice to have a way to talk about my fears of the future. I have a great life and a great boyfriend but sometimes I feel like I want to run away and reinvent myself. Its scary to think of making it on my own but I feel trapped and confused. I just want some clarity to know what my destiny is.
Sometimes I feel invisible...but not in a superhero way, no perks of walking through walls and seeing what people really do or say in private...just not here at all
I think my boss is taking advantage of me
I am a single mom and I feel exhausted, lonley and overwhelmed everyday. I fight with my babys daddy. He makes my life even harder! I want someone to hang out with. someone I can call and talk to. someone to vent to. My problem is I dont want to burden anyone with my sob story.
I am constantly on the verge of tears...I lost my sister 4 years ago and it still feels like yesterday. I always have a smile on my face and put up a brave front, I don't want people feeling sorry for me...
I'm in a long distance relationship and I just asked someone out. I'm not sure if it's cool or not. I'm not sure it's that easy. We left it open.It's a situation where both of us understand, but neither of us want to be made aware of what the other does. I know she's gone out on at least one date. I don't want to know the details, but it doesn't bother me that much.
I don't know if this is going to sit well with me, even though I obviously want to do it.
I just want to say (semi)publicly that I love my girlfriend very, very much. And even though it's technically OK, I'm conflicted.
I used to be able to have casual encounters without a second thought. I can't ignore how my actions affect other people anymore. I guess I'm growing up.
Gray areas...
To the last poster...
My husband had to talk me into monogamy, I was always commitment phobic, with men and women. Now I know what it really is, it's not the monogamy, it's that the monogamy is part of the commitment and now that I've grown up a bit I understand why that's so important. It's a really good feeling and I think it came with marraige which is the biggest reaon why anyone should have the right to marry, it's a show of commitment.
For the person with the baby, I know who you are and I'm going to come and give you a break. If you want to mention your area, maybe others can help and you could offer your time and skills in exchange. (obviously this is Jessica talking, I don't know who most of these posts are from)
For the woman who feels invisible...stay invisible but go out. Put a hat on, put sunglasses on, put headphones in so that you are still a bit invisible and go to the nearest coffee shop, read the paper, people watch....
I am spending most of my forties in cancer treatment, I don't want to pass my prime in the process. There's so much shock to my body, menopause, chemical induced weight gain, weird hair and pain that fatigue that help me talk myself out of exercising, it's very difficult to keep up with my housework and I miss being able to travel. I don't want to come out of this finding that I've lost my sexiness and essence. I don't fit into any of my clothes, can't afford a haircut and spend most of my energy keeping my head above the water financially. In the mean time I watch my old exciting life passing me by. I don't want to come out the other end an old creaky woman before my time.
I could use a work party! Bolinas, CA
I'm grateful for frosty, crack of dawn country drives, singing as loud as I can and knowing no one can hear
A cut and paste conversation:
"my dearest jessica...
hi, I love it and it's already done me some great personal good just to read...here is my question; are we all anonymous to each other but not to you?
(you said something about being able to connect people) i want to forward this but i'm just a tiny bit concerned that it is not fully anonymous. let me know..."
ahh....a good question! Being that it is an experiment I hadn't thought about how I would know who's who in order to put people together, then I kinda made a faux pas (that's french!) yesterday saying that I knew who someone was. I think the way people can get in touch with each other is by both of the people agreeing to email me, being that my contact info is on there. I honestly have no idea who 90% of the posts are from....BTW, can I ANONYMOUSLY cut and paste this little discussion on to the page?
"Thanks! and yeah baby put it on there. XXX"
Ha! Jessica, what a great idea (echoing many). I already see that I am one of many on a lot of complaints. Just want to offer a general feeling of camaraderie women!
i have queer anxiety around my career.
it makes me feel hypocritcal, cowardly, and lame.
my big concern is for the colleagues who are not comfortable with out gay lifestyle. Many of them are from an older generation than I, and I do not wish to be disrespectful of them. Having said that, I am not by any means in the closet, at home or at work. I just find myself sensoring myself sometimes. Where do you draw a line between respect for yourself and respect for others?
To the person who recommended more music to help come off the addiction to TV, THANK YOU!! It has really helped, and not only that I have been getting in touch with some of my favorite music and new music like it thanks to Pandora.com, I highly recommend it! You can listen for free and after typing in an artists name or song you like it makes a radio station for you based on your selection and then sit back and enjoy...I am learning about so many new people I hadn't known to check into, I love it! Although now I may have a new addiction...but this one seems a bit healthier. (No, I am not affiliated with the website, just a fan and want to pass on the goods. hope you enjoy!)
I'm having a bad day...I am going to try Pandora, thanks!
starting with Cocteau Twins
OK, it's been less than a minute and I already feel better!!
I love this idea but I want more.
I want a place to write as if on a blog. Not a comment that has to be scrolled down to see. Is there a way to do that? How do you have so many individuals have access to something like that? Is it possible?
is this the way it's going to be? Just writing comment after comment? If so, I'll get used to it. If not, how else can we do this?
I'm having an abortion in just under two weeks. My boyfriend left me a few days after I told him. I'm worried I might be doing it as psychological war-fare.
girl is freaked. she wants to bolt. it's so much easier than waiting around to be hurt by Boy. Girl knows that he is sweet, so sweet, honest, maybe.Boy seems great to Girl and she feels so nauseous when she thinks about him. They like eachother a lot. They are very compatible. There are the basic complications. Girl has kids, Boy and Girl live and work in different communities. They try to get together when they can. Boy and Girl are both scared and anxious about being hurt. Girl is very close to bolting. She wants to smoke a cigarette, run until her legs give out and she gives into a deep, unemotional physical exhaustion, break her cell phone in half and throw it in the fire, scream until she loses her voice, erase any feelings she has for Boy. Girl is a bit broken and She doesn't know how to fix that bit of her heart, but she's losing blood (control) very quickly. She decides to turn off her cell phone instead of checking it every 5 minutes to see if Boy will text her back. Although she's beginning to think that she may never hear from Boy again and if Girl never hears from Boy again, she will be okay after one week of irritation, anger, hurt, sadness and grief over a loss of what could have been. Another practical part of Girl knows that Boy just fell asleep watching Tropic Thunder. Boy worked super hard today, smoked some weed and went to sleep. Girl wonders if she will ever be able to trust Boy. She can't fathom it. Girl feels sad that she has to work out all of her unexpected and fucked up emotions. Girl worries that she will drive Boy away and into the arms of some other girl who has far less baggage and complications and sadness and mistrust. Some Girl who doesn't have children, the finacial burdens of supporting a family and the unavailable-most-of-the-time schedule. Girl turns her cell phone back on. No call. No text. Ugh!!!!
Girl is pensive and becoming clearer and clearer. Girl is trying to gain perspective that will give her all the answers. Girl hasn't spoken to Boy for a couple of days. Girl hopes she didn't scare him away, but she's pretty sure it's a good possibility. Boy may be just as pensive trying to be clear. Nobody ever told Boy and Girl haw brave you have to be to love, how paonful rejection is, how impossible it seems to pick yourself up out of the mud puddle and clean yourself up, to love again, just impossible. Girl feels rejected. She waits for Boy. Girl waITS and wAITS and WAITS! Boy finally calls, "so sorry, " Girl rants and raves and smokes and runs and feeds herself from her anger (FEAR). Girl is ready for war. Girl could climb a mountain and then another. Run a hundred miles. Her fuel is her anger, fury (FEAR). Boy is so sorry. Boy really is. Girl can't hear it because pain has overcome any reasoning or rational thought. Girl wants to cry and tell Boy she never wants to see him again. Girl wants to control her feelings and be concise and articulate in communicating with Boy. Boy tries to say something. There's no space to speak. Nothing Boy can say will be right. Girl wants to cry, (Will She? No Way). Boy is choosing his words so carefully. Girl wishes she could do the same, but Girl has already vomited up the fear, pain, insecurity, sadness, grief. Girl tries to clean it up, but Boy has already seen it, smelt it, tasted it. Girl is so embarassed. Boy still likes her. Boy understands. Boy has been through it before. Boy is brave. Girl is brave. Boy and Girl are going to take it slow.
I just saw a picture of myself and I am shocked and embarrassed by how heavy I am.
i am ashamed that i am not as strong as i pretend to be. I wish i had the guts to say "shut the fuck up" when i wanted to as opposed to a smile in agreement. Im gonna work on that.
we are beautiful, strong, nuturing, and intelligent. what else is there?
when will i fall in love with someone good for me?
Do I make things more complicated than they have to be or do I make things work in the way that I want them to? I am a producer/coordinator and I work under a lot of pressure, I sometimes make over two hundred calls in a 20 hour day, do people think I am crazy or do they understand that I am pulling of miracles and getting things done? I love it and I believe that I am good at it.
Is it worth it for the anxiety and if not, what else what would I do?
boys are bad bad bad.....
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